My First Stories

Today's post is a bit of preparation for tomorrow's post. I want to discuss that old writer's axiom, 'show, don't tell', and needed an example. I didn't want to clog up the main post with the example, so here it is, a whole day early, ready for your perusal ;) :)


I wrote these in year 3, two of them in the ‘series’. Unfortunately I've lost the first 3 pages of the first. William & Danny are a pair of dogs from an illustrated book of short animal stories that was in the school library. No prizes for guessing what the inspiration for the plot is ;)
The exact spelling and idiosyncratic conventions regarding spacing, commas and the like are preserved. I apologise for that in advance ;)


'Book' 1: Danny and William

It had sort of looked like a horse, only it had a horn on it’s forehead and much to it’s tail and mane were much too long.
Here,” replyed the Unicorn.
“Hmmmm…” thought Danny and then added aloud, “I’ve never seen a unicorn before. What’s your name?”
“Sky Dancer,” said the Unicorn.
“That’s a nice name,” said William who hadn’t been involved in the conversation for ages.
“Our names aren’t nearly as nice!” put in Danny.
“What are your names? You know mine and I would like to know yours please,” said Sky Dancer.
“Mine is William and this is Danny,” answered William, “Will and Dan for short.”

As time passed, Danny and William got to know the quite well. In fact, it soon seemed as if they had been in Eldnac since they were born!

Once they came back to our world (by accident in London) and found, that, however long they were in Eldnac for no time had gone passed in London (or the rest of the world too, for that matter).


'Book' 2: Eldnac

Once there was a little dog who lived in Eldnac.His name was Danny and he was a Dachshund.
As you know from the last book, his best friend was William the Great Dane.
By now they had been in Eldnac for a long time andhad made lots of friends.
This particular day they had arranged to go and explore the area above the waterfalls. They were to go with Glenstorm the Centaur, Mr. Tummunus the Faun, Trufflehunter the Badger and quite a number of others. They were to meet each other at the waterfalls.
“Come on William ,” pleaded Danny for the tenth time. “I’m coming, I’m coming,”replied William again for the tenth time.
At last they were off and travelling to the falls. They had to go around the Beaver’s pond, then to the big pond which the waterfall ran into. There, under the waterfall in the cavern were their friends.
Finally they were off exploring above the falls.
First they went through a forest. It was dense and green and there were lots of strange animals, that they had never seen before ( or in Danny’s and William’s case, thought they had never seen before).
Some of the animals included:
Scarlet Mawcaw
Panther
Monkey
Suddenly they were out of the jungle and on a sandy beach. There was a big oat on the beach. Danny climbed on board, followed by the others.
After about 2 hours of sailing, they spotted land. After about 10 minutes, landed on the beach of the land.
They had explored everything on the island except for the middle of the island. Suddenly Danny yelled out, “hey you guys, some and see what I’ve found!” “A meadow!” “It’s beautiful!” someone else yelled.
After that, when they were in Eldnac for a long time after that, they (the two dogs) were known as Danny the Discoverer and William the Adventurous.

THE END

PS If you realised that Eldnac is Candle spelled backwards, congratulations and fifty points for you ;) You can blame my Dad for that one :D