At the school where I work, the yearbook has a section called 'Overheards', which is dedicated to random and amusing comments overheard in classrooms and playgrounds throughout the school year (such as one teacher explaining that he doesn't wear pyjamas to bed - naturally, the remarks are all totally out of context, and that's what makes them funny).
Inspired by Emily Casey's Things I Never Said Before I Was A Mother, I'm introducing Motherheards, which is - well, a combination of the two. You may or may not find them amusing. I don't care*. They amuse me, and some days, that's all that keeps me sane O:) :D
* I do hope you'll be entertained, of course.
I don't know why we'd want to change your bottom for a cow. It would make it very hard to sit down.