A bit of amusement for you today. Jess, or Jessana, is the MC of my secret assassin trilogy, which I plan to start writing in November. This interview is prep for book one, in which she's about to graduate at the top of her class from the Shard Academy and officially become an Assassin of Fate. A is me, and J is Jess :)
A: So, Jess, I need to ask you a few questions before we begin your story. Okay?
A: Um, please?
A: *getting frustrated* Look, I know perfectly well that you can sit there till the cows come home and not spill a thing. It's your job to withstand interogation, blahblah, I get it, I know that, okay? But I'm not here to interogate you. I'm your author, I'm trying to help you.
J: *raises eyebrow*
A: Well, ultimately. In the end. Really.
J: *more silence*
A: Please, Jess? I really need this.
J: *big sigh* Okay.
A: *relieved* Thanks. Okay. So. First question: what one thing would you sacrifice almost anything to have, or to have happen?
A: Look, come on, Jessana. You really don't need to be difficult about this!
J: Hey, I'm thinking! Can't a girl think before she responds? Sheesh, woman. Relax.
A: *blushes* Sorry.
J: *waves hand dismissively* Fine, it's fine. One thing. Hmm. To be honest, I'm not sure I do want anything. I like my life. I'm top of my class, the teachers like me - well, except Mr Snitty, but he doesn't count, he hates everyone. I don't know.
A: Come on, everyone has something they want more than anything else... It doesn't have to be a thing. Think abstract... Belonging? Purpose?
J: But I already belong, and I have a purpose. That's the whole point of the Shard Academy.
A: I know that! Argh, never mind. Next question. What in your life wouldn't you sacrifice?
J: *grin* Will you hit me if I say 'nothing'?
A: *glares* That's bull, and you know it.
J: *shrugs* If you know it, then you know the answer to the question, so what do you need me here for?
A: Jessana Peakes, I swear, if you do not sit down and answer my question right now, I will erase you from the story!
J: Can't do that, I'm the main character.
A: So I'll write a different story.
J: *shrugs* You think that, if it makes you happy.
A: *grinds teeth* All right then, Little Miss Smary Pants, I'll tell you what I think you wouldn't sacrifice. Two things: your honour - yes, don't squirm on me like that, I know you have honour you miserable little cretin, else the entire plot of your first book wouldn't work! - and control.
J: *surprised* Control? What makes you think I wouldn't give up control? I do it all the time.
A: *eyebrow* Yes, and quite distinctly on your own terms. I've seen what you get up to in book two, missy, and I know the truth about you.
J: *perks up* Book two, hey?
A: *slams notebook shut* Yes, book two, the one I'll never be able to write if you don't help me learn enough about you so I can write book one. *glares*
J: Oh. That book two.
J: *sigh* Okay, what's the next question?
A: *reopens notebook* What's the one thing that you would do anything to avoid, or to avoid happening?
J: *thoughtful silence* *eyes downcast* Getting the wrong guy.
J: *makes eye contact* Getting the wrong guy. Killing the wrong person. Nabbing someone who was innocent. Screwing up.
A: *hesitates* Thank you.
J: *nods* You're welcome.
After this she began to behave, and answered my questions nicely, so it becomes less entertaining. But I thought this might amuse you, at least for a short while :)