Learning By Example

I don't know about you guys, but I happen to be a visual-kinesthetic learner. I really don't learn well by listening; I need to see what we're talking about in front of me.

On the other hand, I also learn pretty well by doing and discussing - if I'm talking it out, I'll remember it (oral rather than aural learning), and if I can touch it, grasp it, move it around and do it myself, I'll also remember it.

So when I started writing, and people told me things like: Your beginning needs to be hooky. You need to have voice. Your query must be professional. You have to tell the story without telling the whole story.

...I really had no idea what they meant.

Thankfully, in the last few months a really useful resource has popped up to combat this: it's the blog of Authoress, Miss Snark's First Victim - specifically, the Secret Agent contests. Have I entered them? Actually, no.

So how have I learned from them? By immersion. By doing. When you read through 100 or 50 or however (large) many first pages in a reasonably short space of time, you begin to realise what works and what doesn't. All that advice actually starts to make sense, and you can see things like voice, and hooks, and begin to get a feel for openings that are boring, or overworked, or trying to hard - or are just right. If you've never read through the entries in a Secret Agent contest, I really encourage you to do so. You don't have to comment on them if you don't want to or don't have time - just read them, and read them all, for your own benefit.

Interestingly, the quality of the submissions really seems to be increasing. In the first few rounds of Are You Hooked?, there were maybe 5% of entries that caught my attention and really hooked me. These days, I can find anywhere between 10 and 15%, and I'm getting pickier; I read faster, I totally skim, and an opening has to work hard to make me stop and read it properly.

So. Where is all this going?

Well, in a meandering sort of way, besides wholeheartedly recommending that you go read through the lastest round of Secret Agent entries, I'm getting to querying. It never occurred to me that the breakthrough I had in reading so many first pages might also be applicable to queries; but thanks to Nathan Bransford and his current 'Agent for a Day' contest, I've realised it is.

I've read every single one of the 50 queries entered, and I'm down to a short list of 14, although I could have made it 16 if I was feeling generous. Because this post is long enough (and my husband is waiting for me!), today I'm going to let you know what my top picks are. Over the weekend, before the contest closes on Saturday night, I'll narrow down my options (we're only allowed to 'request' 5 manuscripts) and on Monday I'll dissect my choices and see what I've learned about queries, and the querying process.

Ready?

Okay. These are my top 14, in no particular order:

#9 If It Ain't Broke: boy sets out to break every bone in his body, because we all know, they heal stronger...

#20 In The Driver's Seat: a memoir about truck driving throughout America. Great voice.

#22 Star Fragments: YA, 'media darling shattered by Hollywood's depravity'. Voice, again.

#26 Glyph: a spec thriller based on Aztec mythology

#27 Ghostland: Genetically modified outcast children. Mm.

#28 Long Shot Lost: Sci fi. Reads pretty standard, but a hint of an exciting voice.

#30 XLI: It's humorous, and the MC is a monk. Rah!

#33 Beneath the Heart of Beauty: mainstream about a man who has recurring dreams that he suspects are based on the events of a period of amnesia he suffered.

#36 Rosie's Child: mainstreamish, about a family geneaology mystery. Sounds pretty cool.

#37 Secluded Alleys: serial killer/cop mystery, with photography.

#38 Birthright: YA fantasy set in the wild future, where humans live in sanitised cities - the MC learns she's heiress to the wild...

#40 Becoming Emily Novak: YA coming of age. Solid, solid query.

#43 The Lion's Mane: YA fantasy. Time travel back to Roman Britain with a talking cat!

#1 Watcher's Web: Well, it's Australian for a start, hoorah! :D Fantasy about a girl who can talk to animals, and is being fought over by the great forces of the universe.

Even reading back through these now, a day after I initially picked them, I can see differences between them that help me make up my mind - to the point where I actually removed two off this list because I realised they weren't up to par with the others.

Finally, there's one query that I didn't even have to think about: auto-request. I'll dig it out and examine it on Monday. In the meantime, get yourselves over there and learn by example what a good query feels like! :)

Eeek! It's That Time Already?!

Well, July has fast come and gone, and it's time for an update again already :)

Here's what I've acheived this month:


* 16,461 words (10,199 on The Project)
* 2 submissions (Certified and With This Ring)
* 3 short stories (Certified, With This Ring and Licence to Fly)
* 2 beginnings of shorts (Guns and Ostriches, Diary of an Octopus)
* At least one other short awaiting time to be written (Afterwards)
* 3 contests entered (Are You Hooked?, Drop the Needle, ANU Short Story)
* 2 new novels ideas (Prodigal, Battersplotch: Without Magic)
* Developed a couple of other novel ideas that have been hanging around, and done a whole heap of worldbuilding (and associated book-borrowing O:))

In non-writing life, I also survived an 18th, a 29th, a weekend at the snow and extra work hours, applying for my own job, sewing various parts of 3 costume dresses, sorting out a timetable (utter fiasco), bought an awesome vacuum cleaner, started swing dance lessons, signed up for an audition in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe: The Musical, started a drama club, and finally managed to extricate the data off my old harddrive.

Yes, for all that it was supposed to be holidays, this has been a VERY busy month.

And what with uni, August and September are set to be even worse....

Bring on October, I say :)

I also received a rather exciting piece of news regarding my writing - but you have to wait until September to hear about that :)

Analysis of Openings

Meant to do this at the end of last week, but alas, it is week two of uni and already I have an essay due. But better late than never.

The format I'm using here is totally theived from Liana Brooks over at Write or Right? - with her permission, naturally ;)

This was my opening:

"Heather, you have something of mine."
I stared at my brother. I had no idea what he meant.
He stared back in silence. The years hadn't been kind to him, that much was certain. I pursed my lips at his dark, sunken eyes, unkempt hair, and too-skinny frame. Dirt clung to his shirt, and his shoes were scuffed and nearly worn through at the toes.
I frowned. "Really, Andrew. It's nice to see you and all, but" – I glanced up and down the perfectly manicured street – "did you have to show up like this?"
He shrugged and maintained his stare. "You have something of mine."
I suppressed a sigh. Better let him in before the neighbours see. I stepped aside and jerked my head.
His eyes widened briefly, but he stepped inside eagerly enough. I wondered how long it had been since he'd been somewhere warm – his hands were mottled with cold.
He hovered in the hallway, and I stepped past him and led the way to the kitchen. "Drink?"
He nodded. "Something warm would be great."
He slid onto one of the stools that edged the bench, and I turned away to rummage for the mugs and hot chocolate. "So," I said, trying to keep my voice casual. "What brings you here?" I hadn't seen him in what, ten? Eleven years, now? As I turned, mugs in hand, I caught his eye. I inhaled, hit by the intensity of his gaze.
"You have something of mine."

Comments: 26, if we discount my two :)

Hooked? 24 plus one maybe. Hoorah, there is hope! :)

Problems Cited By Critters:
* Brother is more interesting that Heather
* Lots of people wobbled at the 'hands mottled with cold' bit
* Lots of sentences start with 'he'
* Issues with Heather's actions - why does she invite him in instead of just asking what he thinks she has?
* Too many repetitions of "You have something of mine." - makes him sound robotic.

What I Can Fix:
* Both characters need a major overhaul. I know this.
* The cold hands can easily go, and sentences can be reworded to avoid 'he'

What Won't Change:
* I seriously doubt she'll just confront him on the doorstep. I still don't know her very well, but I know enough to know that that's a conversation she's NOT going to have in public ;) Besides, if she did, it would ruin the plot %-)

So, the biggest thing that needs working on here is the characterisation, which ought to iron out interest issues and also quirks in their mannerisms, such as Heather inviting him in, and him being so repetitious (or not, depending on how his character turns out).

For a long time I've been a character-focused writer, and have struggle a LOT with plot and structure. When I started writing this, it was an exercise in Making Things Happen - in plot. Consequently, the characterisation is very hazy - it seems that at the moment I can work on one or the other, but not both.

But that's okay. I can clear that up in revisions, and this novel is teaching me a whole new way of writing - and that I /can/ plot, and structure, and have coherency result :)

Overall, I'm pretty stoked with the high proportion of positive comments, and can't wait to finish this dang draft so I can get to revising.

Of course, the fact that I discovered some rather interesting details about Heather and Andrew's past two days ago has nothing to do with it O:)

Absent Because of Beginnings

Today's title is somewhat non-sensical, but I like the sound of it, so it's staying :P As it suggests, I have been a little absent from the blog this past weekend because of beginnings - one hundred and fifteen first pages, to be precise, as posted over on Miss Snark's First Victim. I'm proud to say that I've read and commented on every one, and also read what no-longer-secret agent Holly Root had to say about them all. And I'm especially proud because with the ones that I commented on before she did, we agreed on nearly every one ;)

Why is this worthy of a post, you ask? Well, my good friend and Twin of Darkness and Good, who goes by the name Liana Brooks, posted a couple of days ago about which openings she liked and why. Which made me think I ought to do a similar post, since similar thoughts have been coruscating throughout my brain for the last few days. (Yes, coruscating. They're very shiny thoughts.) I'm amazed by how much this competition has taught me, and I know that once again my own writing will be made stronger because of it.

So, what struck me about the openings that I loved, versus the openings that were just so-so? Firstly, and mostly, voice. Stories that opened with a unique, identifiable voice that was in some way quirky had me immediately. It almost didn't matter what the subject of the story actually was, if the voice was great, I was hooked. (I say almost because there was this one that had a great voice, but was about a visit to the dentist... Others liked it, but I just couldn't feel that interested. Probably because I've never had a negative experience with a dentist, I'd say.)

And this is something that I know I need to work on for TP - Heather's characterisation is still all OVER the place, and she needs a solid character with a great voice to really make the book sing. But it has potential, and I'm glad of that much :)

Other things I noticed:

* Big paragraphs of description really suck. I skim. That even relates to paragraphs that may not actually be description, but look long and dense. Hoorah for small paragraphs!
* Punctuation, grammar, and spelling really, really, really count. Especially comma slices. (Death to splices! *waves pitchfork*)

And finally, the other biggie: conflict. You may recall that I wrote an article on conflict a while back, basically saying that there are lots of types and that it's the meat and bread of a story. Beginnings are no different. Even if the beginning has a good voice, is clear of mistakes and has nice sized paras, there has to be conflict. And more, the conflict has to be relevant. There has to be a sense that the conflict portrayed matters somehow within the context of the story.

So, personal checklist for beginnings: voice, conflict, bite-sized paragraphs, and no errors. Easy! :D

And A Slight Hyperventilation Of My Own...

The Are You Hooked? contest over at Miss Snark's First Victim is well and truly up and running, with an astounding 113 entries! If you have a spare second to pop over and comment even on one or two, I'm sure everyone would be greatly appreciative. All you have to do is say whether the beginning hooked you or not, and, if you're feeling verbose, why :)

Meanwhile, I'm having a bit of a 'squee' moment of my own. This is what Secret Agent had to say about my opening:

"Yes. I might tighten a few spots (strike second line, cut to "The years hadn't been kind to my brother, that much..."; lose the second line about his clothes) but I'd want to see where this is headed."

*bounces up and down* Words cannot describe how floatily excited I am right now :D

Progress

It seems I haven't done a progress report at all yet for July, which is good, because if I just had to report on the last week's work, there wouldn't be much to say O:)

The first third of the month was great - I wrote over 10k in 10 days. Lovely. However, to make up for it, I haven't written a thing in nearly a week. There are very good reasons for this (snow trips, birthdays), but still... Ack.

Those words have been:

* About 4 chapters added to TP. Way behind where I wanted to be, but a lot better than nothing. I've been stalling in chapter 15 because of some police procedural details - I really need to push past that. But I'm still excited about having a complete plot for this thing. :)
* Short story involving platykies, a new species of mine based somewhat on selkies. Currently titled With This Ring.
* My first ever flash fiction piece! Woo, am I excited about this! An entire story, in less than 600 words :D This one's called Certified, and was inspired by a line a friend dropped on the forums the other day about being certified to raise the dead (she's a doctor-in-training).

On top of the writing, I've polished both With This Ring and Certified and sent them out as my July submissions, and entered the first page of TP into the Are You Hooked? contest over at Miss Snark's First Victim :)

So, even though I feel like I've been slack writing-wise for the past week, I guess I can't really complain :o)