At the school where I work, the yearbook has a section called 'Overheards', which is dedicated to random and amusing comments overheard in classrooms and playgrounds throughout the school year (such as one teacher explaining that he doesn't wear pyjamas to bed - naturally, the remarks are all totally out of context, and that's what makes them funny).
Inspired by Emily Casey's Things I Never Said Before I Was A Mother, I'm introducing Motherheards, which is - well, a combination of the two. You may or may not find them amusing. I don't care*. They amuse me, and some days, that's all that keeps me sane O:) :D
* I do hope you'll be entertained, of course.
I don't know why we'd want to change your bottom for a cow. It would make it very hard to sit down.
Showing posts with label amusing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label amusing. Show all posts
25 June 2012
27 October 2010
Flagellated Protozoans
I found this today: a poem I wrote back at university while angsting over what I was supposed to be doing for my creative writing class. As it's fairly indicative of my current capacity for intellectuality, I thought it as good a way to break radio silence as any... O:)
*anti-brain-breakage cookies* for you all. Also, Pajenka's was a cafe at the university ;)
‘Flagellated protozoan’
Is the best rhyme I can find
For ‘trying to write a poem’
How amusing
‘Flagellated protozoan’
Seems to mean ‘a little creature
That is never found in poem’ –
How confusing
And it isn’t really rhyming
And the rhythm is all out
A stupendous lack of timing
Shows throughout it
And the harder that I ponder
And the longer that I try
The worse the poem wanders
All about
And I sit here in Pajenka’s
Where the mob is raising hell
Trying to write a terzanelle
But it’s not working
I try to reach inside – I
Hear the caterpillar tread
Of an inkling in my head
But it goes nowhere
So I’m stuck here with a poem
About whip-like protozoans
And I think that I’m not meant
To be a poet
So I’ll put away thesauri
And I’ll go back to my lab
And I’ll play with
protozoans: flagellated.
The end.
*anti-brain-breakage cookies* for you all. Also, Pajenka's was a cafe at the university ;)
‘Flagellated protozoan’
Is the best rhyme I can find
For ‘trying to write a poem’
How amusing
‘Flagellated protozoan’
Seems to mean ‘a little creature
That is never found in poem’ –
How confusing
And it isn’t really rhyming
And the rhythm is all out
A stupendous lack of timing
Shows throughout it
And the harder that I ponder
And the longer that I try
The worse the poem wanders
All about
And I sit here in Pajenka’s
Where the mob is raising hell
Trying to write a terzanelle
But it’s not working
I try to reach inside – I
Hear the caterpillar tread
Of an inkling in my head
But it goes nowhere
So I’m stuck here with a poem
About whip-like protozoans
And I think that I’m not meant
To be a poet
So I’ll put away thesauri
And I’ll go back to my lab
And I’ll play with
protozoans: flagellated.
The end.
23 November 2009
No Post Today...
No post today, but this is amusing: Slush Reading, Seuss Style.
And this is very, very interesting - and a pretty good analogy of how I write ;)
Also, don't forget to enter Friday's Contest! It's not difficult - just create a sentence using mostly words from my recent wordle, and post it in the comments for your chance to win! :)
And if you're in the mood for contests, Angela over at The Bookshelf Muse has a great one going to celebrate reaching 100,000 hits! :) Yay!
Oh, and I received a blog award :o) Thank you so much, Kristi, and I'm so sorry it took so long for me to acknowledge it!
I have several awards that are supposed to be down on the left sidebar, but blogger is persistently misbehaving. I'll get them up eventually o.O
And this is very, very interesting - and a pretty good analogy of how I write ;)
Also, don't forget to enter Friday's Contest! It's not difficult - just create a sentence using mostly words from my recent wordle, and post it in the comments for your chance to win! :)
And if you're in the mood for contests, Angela over at The Bookshelf Muse has a great one going to celebrate reaching 100,000 hits! :) Yay!
Oh, and I received a blog award :o) Thank you so much, Kristi, and I'm so sorry it took so long for me to acknowledge it!
I have several awards that are supposed to be down on the left sidebar, but blogger is persistently misbehaving. I'll get them up eventually o.O
13 February 2009
Fantasy Elements #2: In Defence of Fantasy
Warning: This is a rant, and contains religious references. Deal, or skip this post return on Monday :P O:) And should you happen to be interested, here's my first defence of fantasy, where I explain one of the reasons why I love the fantasy genre.
Fantasy is evil. Fantasy is the spawn of the devil. Fantasy is inherently immoral, amoral, anti-moral, and wrong.
Gah, how comments like these make my blood boil, particularly when issuing from the mouth of religious leaders or religious people. Yes, this happened a couple of days ago :)
So why, exactly, does this get me riled?
Mostly, I think, because it displays a tremendous amount of ignorance and narrow-mindedness.
First off, 'fantasy' is just a genre. Genres have defining features, but underneath, they're all stories. So why is 'fantasy' so much more evil than anything else?
Apparently the primary issue is magic. At least, I assume it must be, because what other difference are there? Setting? Nope, see sci fi and historical, or alternate historical. Character? Well, some people are good, and some are bad, but that's the same in all genres. Plot? Yeah, sure, some fantasy plots are so cliched they might as well be evil, but really, that's not fair...
So it must be magic.
But here's the deal: magic is a thing. Things can't, in and of themselves, be evil. Things can be used for evil - but they are not themselves evil. Notions of good and evil is a people thing. Not a thing thing.
Secondly, stories are written by people, and people have beliefs, and those beliefs seep through into their writing. Sure, some fantasy is atheistic; but wow, so is a heck of a lot of non-fantasy, and you know what? It's to do with who wrote it, not what genre they wrote it in.
And a heck of lot of fantasy is religious. A lot of it's even Christian. Fantasy writers are the devil's tools, are they? Great. Tell that to J.R.R. Tolkien, founding father of the entire freakin' genre, whose Christian themes and allegories abound, or to C.S. Lewis, arguably one of the greatest and most prolific Christian writers of the century.
Yup. Fantasy's evil. Darn that Narnia, and it's allegorical Aslan.
Not to mention, if we're going to be blunt and truthful about it, the Bible. Prophecies that come true? Dreams of the future? Allegories and strange visions of fantastic beasts that don't exist in our reality? Come on, that's not fantasy?? Not to mention the ultimate Chosen One, and - le gasp - magic. Yes, magic. Hello, water to wine, anyone? Healing the sick? Raising people from the dead?!
(Hmm, interesting doctrinal point: Is God the ultimate necromancer? Or is necromancy by definition the raising of the dead to an unlife, rather than to life?)
And finally, the ignorance. The people that disparage fantasy so emphatically seem to have little conception of what fantasy really is (see number two above). Apparently, it's only fantasy novels that are evil, and even then only ones written in the last century or two. If it's old enough to be called a myth or a fairytale, apparently it's fine. Cinderella? Yup, that's a pretty evil story. The Little Tin Soldier? Oo, terrible story, that one.
Not to mention Disney. So, it's evil of novelists to write stories that involve magic, but Disney is a happy, fun, family-friendly, movie-making company (heh, actual evils of the company itself aside %-))? Let me get this straight: The Wheel of Time, Narnia, the Lord of the Rings, Song of Ice and Fire, the Farseers, and so forth, are evil, but The Lion King, Suddenly 30, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, and Toy Story are not?
Riiiiight.
I'd like to end by saying - People, before you try to take a swing at me for writing fantasy, you'd better be damn sure what you're actually swinging against - but since most of the people to whom that applies won't ever read this, is there really any point? :P
So, tell me dear faithful readers: What genres do you write in, and do you ever cop any flak over it? Are you perfectly happy to tell anyone who asks, "Yes, I'm a writer, and I write blah genre!", or do you hedge around the edges, mumbling non-committal responses in the hopes that they'll go away and that once, just this once, you won't get flamed for your writing preferences?
(Okay, so I've never actually been flamed, as such, and I've been pleasantly surprised a few times by a supportive response. But the point remains :D)
Fantasy is evil. Fantasy is the spawn of the devil. Fantasy is inherently immoral, amoral, anti-moral, and wrong.
Gah, how comments like these make my blood boil, particularly when issuing from the mouth of religious leaders or religious people. Yes, this happened a couple of days ago :)
So why, exactly, does this get me riled?
Mostly, I think, because it displays a tremendous amount of ignorance and narrow-mindedness.
First off, 'fantasy' is just a genre. Genres have defining features, but underneath, they're all stories. So why is 'fantasy' so much more evil than anything else?
Apparently the primary issue is magic. At least, I assume it must be, because what other difference are there? Setting? Nope, see sci fi and historical, or alternate historical. Character? Well, some people are good, and some are bad, but that's the same in all genres. Plot? Yeah, sure, some fantasy plots are so cliched they might as well be evil, but really, that's not fair...
So it must be magic.
But here's the deal: magic is a thing. Things can't, in and of themselves, be evil. Things can be used for evil - but they are not themselves evil. Notions of good and evil is a people thing. Not a thing thing.
Secondly, stories are written by people, and people have beliefs, and those beliefs seep through into their writing. Sure, some fantasy is atheistic; but wow, so is a heck of a lot of non-fantasy, and you know what? It's to do with who wrote it, not what genre they wrote it in.
And a heck of lot of fantasy is religious. A lot of it's even Christian. Fantasy writers are the devil's tools, are they? Great. Tell that to J.R.R. Tolkien, founding father of the entire freakin' genre, whose Christian themes and allegories abound, or to C.S. Lewis, arguably one of the greatest and most prolific Christian writers of the century.
Yup. Fantasy's evil. Darn that Narnia, and it's allegorical Aslan.
Not to mention, if we're going to be blunt and truthful about it, the Bible. Prophecies that come true? Dreams of the future? Allegories and strange visions of fantastic beasts that don't exist in our reality? Come on, that's not fantasy?? Not to mention the ultimate Chosen One, and - le gasp - magic. Yes, magic. Hello, water to wine, anyone? Healing the sick? Raising people from the dead?!
(Hmm, interesting doctrinal point: Is God the ultimate necromancer? Or is necromancy by definition the raising of the dead to an unlife, rather than to life?)
And finally, the ignorance. The people that disparage fantasy so emphatically seem to have little conception of what fantasy really is (see number two above). Apparently, it's only fantasy novels that are evil, and even then only ones written in the last century or two. If it's old enough to be called a myth or a fairytale, apparently it's fine. Cinderella? Yup, that's a pretty evil story. The Little Tin Soldier? Oo, terrible story, that one.
Not to mention Disney. So, it's evil of novelists to write stories that involve magic, but Disney is a happy, fun, family-friendly, movie-making company (heh, actual evils of the company itself aside %-))? Let me get this straight: The Wheel of Time, Narnia, the Lord of the Rings, Song of Ice and Fire, the Farseers, and so forth, are evil, but The Lion King, Suddenly 30, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, and Toy Story are not?
Riiiiight.
I'd like to end by saying - People, before you try to take a swing at me for writing fantasy, you'd better be damn sure what you're actually swinging against - but since most of the people to whom that applies won't ever read this, is there really any point? :P
So, tell me dear faithful readers: What genres do you write in, and do you ever cop any flak over it? Are you perfectly happy to tell anyone who asks, "Yes, I'm a writer, and I write blah genre!", or do you hedge around the edges, mumbling non-committal responses in the hopes that they'll go away and that once, just this once, you won't get flamed for your writing preferences?
(Okay, so I've never actually been flamed, as such, and I've been pleasantly surprised a few times by a supportive response. But the point remains :D)
05 January 2009
Book Review: Overtime
Quick Stats
Genre - Humourous fantasy
Length - ~310p
Author - Tom Holt
Overview
Time travel. Fantasy. Investments. Missing kings, tax evasions, singing wandering bards, inter-time concerts, badly negotiated contracts, lust-at-first-sight that the MC realises is Very Bad, an intensely unique universe... This is about the best I can do to sum up Holt's Overtime. It's twisty, it's convoluted, and it's a fun romp through a wacky world where nothing and no-one is as it seems.
Belatedly, I found a good summary of this story in the fantasy encyclopedia I got for Christmas: Richard Lionheart's Blondel seeks for him in all the wrong centuries. :)
First Impressions
First impressions were good, actually. The book gets off to a very promising start, involving a somewhat comic situation with a dead body in an aeroplane, of all things. The tone is light-hearted and quick-witted, and you get all squiggly thinking about the sheer fun the book promises.
High Points
Well, it certainly has its amusing moments. The twists of the plot are fresh and surprising, it's funny, clever, and very, very different.
Low Points
Sadly, the second half of the book is a little lacking. It's a fun read, no doubt about it, but the overarching plot lacks a sense of consistency and coherency. I get the main point of the plot, but I'm still left with the question -- Why?? And what did that particular subplot have to do with the price of fish? Not to mention the fact that the final chapter wraps things up in a less-than-satisfactory manner...
Rating
Eh. I'd say a bus book: it's funny and useful for when you have nothing better to do and don't mind laughing a little in public. Not something for dedicated pocket-reading, though :)
Genre - Humourous fantasy
Length - ~310p
Author - Tom Holt
Overview
Time travel. Fantasy. Investments. Missing kings, tax evasions, singing wandering bards, inter-time concerts, badly negotiated contracts, lust-at-first-sight that the MC realises is Very Bad, an intensely unique universe... This is about the best I can do to sum up Holt's Overtime. It's twisty, it's convoluted, and it's a fun romp through a wacky world where nothing and no-one is as it seems.
Belatedly, I found a good summary of this story in the fantasy encyclopedia I got for Christmas: Richard Lionheart's Blondel seeks for him in all the wrong centuries. :)
First Impressions
First impressions were good, actually. The book gets off to a very promising start, involving a somewhat comic situation with a dead body in an aeroplane, of all things. The tone is light-hearted and quick-witted, and you get all squiggly thinking about the sheer fun the book promises.
High Points
Well, it certainly has its amusing moments. The twists of the plot are fresh and surprising, it's funny, clever, and very, very different.
Low Points
Sadly, the second half of the book is a little lacking. It's a fun read, no doubt about it, but the overarching plot lacks a sense of consistency and coherency. I get the main point of the plot, but I'm still left with the question -- Why?? And what did that particular subplot have to do with the price of fish? Not to mention the fact that the final chapter wraps things up in a less-than-satisfactory manner...
Rating
Eh. I'd say a bus book: it's funny and useful for when you have nothing better to do and don't mind laughing a little in public. Not something for dedicated pocket-reading, though :)
20 October 2008
Like Blood From A Stone... Character Development 101
A bit of amusement for you today. Jess, or Jessana, is the MC of my secret assassin trilogy, which I plan to start writing in November. This interview is prep for book one, in which she's about to graduate at the top of her class from the Shard Academy and officially become an Assassin of Fate. A is me, and J is Jess :)
A: So, Jess, I need to ask you a few questions before we begin your story. Okay?
J: *silence*
A: Um, please?
J: *ignores*
A: *getting frustrated* Look, I know perfectly well that you can sit there till the cows come home and not spill a thing. It's your job to withstand interogation, blahblah, I get it, I know that, okay? But I'm not here to interogate you. I'm your author, I'm trying to help you.
J: *raises eyebrow*
A: Well, ultimately. In the end. Really.
J: *more silence*
A: Please, Jess? I really need this.
J: *big sigh* Okay.
A: *relieved* Thanks. Okay. So. First question: what one thing would you sacrifice almost anything to have, or to have happen?
J: *silence*
A: Look, come on, Jessana. You really don't need to be difficult about this!
J: Hey, I'm thinking! Can't a girl think before she responds? Sheesh, woman. Relax.
A: *blushes* Sorry.
J: *waves hand dismissively* Fine, it's fine. One thing. Hmm. To be honest, I'm not sure I do want anything. I like my life. I'm top of my class, the teachers like me - well, except Mr Snitty, but he doesn't count, he hates everyone. I don't know.
A: Come on, everyone has something they want more than anything else... It doesn't have to be a thing. Think abstract... Belonging? Purpose?
J: But I already belong, and I have a purpose. That's the whole point of the Shard Academy.
A: I know that! Argh, never mind. Next question. What in your life wouldn't you sacrifice?
J: *grin* Will you hit me if I say 'nothing'?
A: *glares* That's bull, and you know it.
J: *shrugs* If you know it, then you know the answer to the question, so what do you need me here for?
A: Jessana Peakes, I swear, if you do not sit down and answer my question right now, I will erase you from the story!
J: Can't do that, I'm the main character.
A: So I'll write a different story.
J: *shrugs* You think that, if it makes you happy.
A: *grinds teeth* All right then, Little Miss Smary Pants, I'll tell you what I think you wouldn't sacrifice. Two things: your honour - yes, don't squirm on me like that, I know you have honour you miserable little cretin, else the entire plot of your first book wouldn't work! - and control.
J: *surprised* Control? What makes you think I wouldn't give up control? I do it all the time.
A: *eyebrow* Yes, and quite distinctly on your own terms. I've seen what you get up to in book two, missy, and I know the truth about you.
J: *perks up* Book two, hey?
A: *slams notebook shut* Yes, book two, the one I'll never be able to write if you don't help me learn enough about you so I can write book one. *glares*
J: Oh. That book two.
A: *silence*
J: *sigh* Okay, what's the next question?
A: *reopens notebook* What's the one thing that you would do anything to avoid, or to avoid happening?
J: *thoughtful silence* *eyes downcast* Getting the wrong guy.
A: What?
J: *makes eye contact* Getting the wrong guy. Killing the wrong person. Nabbing someone who was innocent. Screwing up.
A: *hesitates* Thank you.
J: *nods* You're welcome.
After this she began to behave, and answered my questions nicely, so it becomes less entertaining. But I thought this might amuse you, at least for a short while :)
A: So, Jess, I need to ask you a few questions before we begin your story. Okay?
J: *silence*
A: Um, please?
J: *ignores*
A: *getting frustrated* Look, I know perfectly well that you can sit there till the cows come home and not spill a thing. It's your job to withstand interogation, blahblah, I get it, I know that, okay? But I'm not here to interogate you. I'm your author, I'm trying to help you.
J: *raises eyebrow*
A: Well, ultimately. In the end. Really.
J: *more silence*
A: Please, Jess? I really need this.
J: *big sigh* Okay.
A: *relieved* Thanks. Okay. So. First question: what one thing would you sacrifice almost anything to have, or to have happen?
J: *silence*
A: Look, come on, Jessana. You really don't need to be difficult about this!
J: Hey, I'm thinking! Can't a girl think before she responds? Sheesh, woman. Relax.
A: *blushes* Sorry.
J: *waves hand dismissively* Fine, it's fine. One thing. Hmm. To be honest, I'm not sure I do want anything. I like my life. I'm top of my class, the teachers like me - well, except Mr Snitty, but he doesn't count, he hates everyone. I don't know.
A: Come on, everyone has something they want more than anything else... It doesn't have to be a thing. Think abstract... Belonging? Purpose?
J: But I already belong, and I have a purpose. That's the whole point of the Shard Academy.
A: I know that! Argh, never mind. Next question. What in your life wouldn't you sacrifice?
J: *grin* Will you hit me if I say 'nothing'?
A: *glares* That's bull, and you know it.
J: *shrugs* If you know it, then you know the answer to the question, so what do you need me here for?
A: Jessana Peakes, I swear, if you do not sit down and answer my question right now, I will erase you from the story!
J: Can't do that, I'm the main character.
A: So I'll write a different story.
J: *shrugs* You think that, if it makes you happy.
A: *grinds teeth* All right then, Little Miss Smary Pants, I'll tell you what I think you wouldn't sacrifice. Two things: your honour - yes, don't squirm on me like that, I know you have honour you miserable little cretin, else the entire plot of your first book wouldn't work! - and control.
J: *surprised* Control? What makes you think I wouldn't give up control? I do it all the time.
A: *eyebrow* Yes, and quite distinctly on your own terms. I've seen what you get up to in book two, missy, and I know the truth about you.
J: *perks up* Book two, hey?
A: *slams notebook shut* Yes, book two, the one I'll never be able to write if you don't help me learn enough about you so I can write book one. *glares*
J: Oh. That book two.
A: *silence*
J: *sigh* Okay, what's the next question?
A: *reopens notebook* What's the one thing that you would do anything to avoid, or to avoid happening?
J: *thoughtful silence* *eyes downcast* Getting the wrong guy.
A: What?
J: *makes eye contact* Getting the wrong guy. Killing the wrong person. Nabbing someone who was innocent. Screwing up.
A: *hesitates* Thank you.
J: *nods* You're welcome.
After this she began to behave, and answered my questions nicely, so it becomes less entertaining. But I thought this might amuse you, at least for a short while :)
13 October 2008
Book Review: Armed and Magical by Lisa Shearin
Woohoo! 1 down, 156 to go :D
Quick Stats
Genre - Urban fantasy, with a street detective-esque bent
Length - about 300 pages
Author - Lisa Shearin
Overview
This is book 2 in the Raine Benares series. Raine has arrived at the Isle of Mid, and the Saghred has been placed in the Guardians' most secure containment rooms - only they're not terribly containing, not for the Saghred with its seemingly limitless power. But that's not Raine's real problem. The real problem is that there are about a bazillion different factions on the Isle, and they all want a piece of her - or her in pieces. Some of them aren't fussy.
First Impressions
Fun! Oh yes, this stands up to my expectations well :) Just like Magic Lost, Trouble Found, the action starts right on page one, setting in place a chain of events that's exciting, dangerous, and above all, fun. I love Raine and her snarky, street-smart attitude :D
High Points
The general snarkiness of Raine, and the awesome, action-filled plot! She has a truly loveable cast of characters, from the rogue pirate Phealan to the sweet and not-quote-so-innocent-anymore Piaras, to the dreamy Guardian Michael, steamy badboy Tam... Ya know. The works B-)
And the plot just never stops; the pace is relentless from page one, and you're never quite sure what's going to blow up next. Lovely. Just the way things should be.
Low Points
The only minor qualm I have with this series of books is that, essentially, they are 'fluff'. I love and adore these books, and they have had a huge impact on my own writing - but they are ultimately there for entertainment. There isn't really any 'deeper meaning' behind them, and thus far in the two books I've read, there isn't a whole lot of character growth in Raine.
Some days, though, you just gotta have something that's entertaining, and easy on the brain... So there's nothing quintessentially wrong with fluff :)
Rating
So, because five stars, or marks-out-of-ten, or whatever, are boring, I'm going to rate my squillions of TBR books by where they're most suitable to read. I know, I'm a little odd, but work with me here...
So, this one has quite literally been my bathroom book for the last week %-) (Just fyi, my bathroom includes the bath, the toilet, the sink and the shower). I haven't really had time to read, but I started it in the bath last week and couldn't bear putting it away until I had time to finish it. So I've been reading it in snatches every time I'm in the bathroom.
It's a pretty good bathroom book, because it's so action-packed you can get a great deal of entertainment out of each chapter, while the plot is linear enough that you don't forget what was happening between times. The strong voice helps to keep the story fresh in your memory, too. The single only problem with it being a bathroom book is the carried-away factor, where someone bashes on the door and you realise you've been there for fifteen minutes O:)
And I confess, as I got to the climax, the book became a never-leave-my-side book until I finished it :D
Quick Stats
Genre - Urban fantasy, with a street detective-esque bent
Length - about 300 pages
Author - Lisa Shearin
Overview
This is book 2 in the Raine Benares series. Raine has arrived at the Isle of Mid, and the Saghred has been placed in the Guardians' most secure containment rooms - only they're not terribly containing, not for the Saghred with its seemingly limitless power. But that's not Raine's real problem. The real problem is that there are about a bazillion different factions on the Isle, and they all want a piece of her - or her in pieces. Some of them aren't fussy.
First Impressions
Fun! Oh yes, this stands up to my expectations well :) Just like Magic Lost, Trouble Found, the action starts right on page one, setting in place a chain of events that's exciting, dangerous, and above all, fun. I love Raine and her snarky, street-smart attitude :D
High Points
The general snarkiness of Raine, and the awesome, action-filled plot! She has a truly loveable cast of characters, from the rogue pirate Phealan to the sweet and not-quote-so-innocent-anymore Piaras, to the dreamy Guardian Michael, steamy badboy Tam... Ya know. The works B-)
And the plot just never stops; the pace is relentless from page one, and you're never quite sure what's going to blow up next. Lovely. Just the way things should be.
Low Points
The only minor qualm I have with this series of books is that, essentially, they are 'fluff'. I love and adore these books, and they have had a huge impact on my own writing - but they are ultimately there for entertainment. There isn't really any 'deeper meaning' behind them, and thus far in the two books I've read, there isn't a whole lot of character growth in Raine.
Some days, though, you just gotta have something that's entertaining, and easy on the brain... So there's nothing quintessentially wrong with fluff :)
Rating
So, because five stars, or marks-out-of-ten, or whatever, are boring, I'm going to rate my squillions of TBR books by where they're most suitable to read. I know, I'm a little odd, but work with me here...
So, this one has quite literally been my bathroom book for the last week %-) (Just fyi, my bathroom includes the bath, the toilet, the sink and the shower). I haven't really had time to read, but I started it in the bath last week and couldn't bear putting it away until I had time to finish it. So I've been reading it in snatches every time I'm in the bathroom.
It's a pretty good bathroom book, because it's so action-packed you can get a great deal of entertainment out of each chapter, while the plot is linear enough that you don't forget what was happening between times. The strong voice helps to keep the story fresh in your memory, too. The single only problem with it being a bathroom book is the carried-away factor, where someone bashes on the door and you realise you've been there for fifteen minutes O:)
And I confess, as I got to the climax, the book became a never-leave-my-side book until I finished it :D
06 October 2008
Link Salad Round Three
Today you get Link Salad, because as this posts, the hairdresser and make-up person will be arriving, and we will be running around like frantic chickens getting Beautiful before the wedding. Posts might be a bit light on this week, but will hopefully return to normal next week :)
So, in the latest rounds of assessment procrastination, here are some goodies I found.
Missing a loved one? Miss no longer - you can now turn your loved ones into diamonds. And never fear, your loved one doesn't have to be deceased - some hair will do. They even do pets!
Some creepy creatures from the sea, like the oarfish, a real live sea serpent, and the gulper eel...
Calculate your real age based on diet, exercise, family history etc. I'm 3.8 years older than my calendar age; I need to exercise more and eat more fruit! (No surprises there!)
Perhaps this site will help me out - it comes highly recommended by my good friend Liana.
Ah well, if all else fails I can do what I jolly well ought to be doing anyway - walk the dog!
And on a writing-related note, I'm not the only one who "hates writing." :)
See you next time - don't forget to Breathe ;)
So, in the latest rounds of assessment procrastination, here are some goodies I found.
Missing a loved one? Miss no longer - you can now turn your loved ones into diamonds. And never fear, your loved one doesn't have to be deceased - some hair will do. They even do pets!
Some creepy creatures from the sea, like the oarfish, a real live sea serpent, and the gulper eel...
Calculate your real age based on diet, exercise, family history etc. I'm 3.8 years older than my calendar age; I need to exercise more and eat more fruit! (No surprises there!)
Perhaps this site will help me out - it comes highly recommended by my good friend Liana.
Ah well, if all else fails I can do what I jolly well ought to be doing anyway - walk the dog!
And on a writing-related note, I'm not the only one who "hates writing." :)
See you next time - don't forget to Breathe ;)
03 September 2008
Welcome to my Sidebar: Miss Snark
Where Miss Snark vented her wrath on the hapless world of writers and crushed them to sand beneath her T.Rexual heels of stiletto snark. The blog is dark--no further updates after 5/20/2007.
Who: Miss Snark is/was a snarky anonymous agent who loved both George Clooney and poodles. Her sense of wit is second to none.
What: As an agent, Miss Snark was uniquely placed to offer 'insider' tidbits to hapless writers - and she did. I have an impression that she was one of the very first agents to begin blogging; she was certainly the first to call for submissions to her 'Crap-o-meter', where she offered critiques of people's query letters :) This site is incredible. Her sense of - er, humour - will have you snorting outloud, while the information her site houses is a must-read, must-know for anyone wishing to enter into the scary world of publishing.
Where: Here, or here: http://misssnark.blogspot.com/
Why: Because this blog is a veritable goldmine of information concerning the publishing industry. If there's something you're not sure about, I can almost guarantee that Miss Snark has answered a similar query at some time or another.
When: As mentioned in the tag line, this blog is now 'dark', meaning there will be no more posts. However, I still highly recommend it since it is an unparalleled source of information :)
Who: Miss Snark is/was a snarky anonymous agent who loved both George Clooney and poodles. Her sense of wit is second to none.
What: As an agent, Miss Snark was uniquely placed to offer 'insider' tidbits to hapless writers - and she did. I have an impression that she was one of the very first agents to begin blogging; she was certainly the first to call for submissions to her 'Crap-o-meter', where she offered critiques of people's query letters :) This site is incredible. Her sense of - er, humour - will have you snorting outloud, while the information her site houses is a must-read, must-know for anyone wishing to enter into the scary world of publishing.
Where: Here, or here: http://misssnark.blogspot.com/
Why: Because this blog is a veritable goldmine of information concerning the publishing industry. If there's something you're not sure about, I can almost guarantee that Miss Snark has answered a similar query at some time or another.
When: As mentioned in the tag line, this blog is now 'dark', meaning there will be no more posts. However, I still highly recommend it since it is an unparalleled source of information :)
23 July 2008
Link Salad Round Two
Today's link salad has been collected over the last week or so, and involves a rather diverse range of topics :D
First up, a fabulous article on time management, something that I could certainly stand to improve on :S For example, I've been home for nearly four hours now, and have done 1 hour of house work and about 20 minutes of writing - which leaves over 2.5 hours of time wasting.
Looks like I really need to check out this 9-step plan to becoming a successful author if I'm to have any chance of making it! :D
Of course, we can't write about nothing - so if you're short on inspiration this awesome stuff on dragons had my creative glands salivating (er, interesting image...).
And as an addendum to the last Writerly Advice article on showing versus telling...
Today, someone on Critique Circle posted a link to a great article describing the difference between showing and telling, and giving some fabulous examples (showing, rather than telling, us the difference ;)) - and I thought it would only be right to share it with you :)
Ilona Andrews on Showing versus Telling.
Hope you find it useful, as I did.
First up, a fabulous article on time management, something that I could certainly stand to improve on :S For example, I've been home for nearly four hours now, and have done 1 hour of house work and about 20 minutes of writing - which leaves over 2.5 hours of time wasting.
Looks like I really need to check out this 9-step plan to becoming a successful author if I'm to have any chance of making it! :D
Of course, we can't write about nothing - so if you're short on inspiration this awesome stuff on dragons had my creative glands salivating (er, interesting image...).
And as an addendum to the last Writerly Advice article on showing versus telling...
Today, someone on Critique Circle posted a link to a great article describing the difference between showing and telling, and giving some fabulous examples (showing, rather than telling, us the difference ;)) - and I thought it would only be right to share it with you :)
Ilona Andrews on Showing versus Telling.
Hope you find it useful, as I did.
09 July 2008
My First Stories
Today's post is a bit of preparation for tomorrow's post. I want to discuss that old writer's axiom, 'show, don't tell', and needed an example. I didn't want to clog up the main post with the example, so here it is, a whole day early, ready for your perusal ;) :)
I wrote these in year 3, two of them in the ‘series’. Unfortunately I've lost the first 3 pages of the first. William & Danny are a pair of dogs from an illustrated book of short animal stories that was in the school library. No prizes for guessing what the inspiration for the plot is ;)
The exact spelling and idiosyncratic conventions regarding spacing, commas and the like are preserved. I apologise for that in advance ;)
'Book' 1: Danny and William
It had sort of looked like a horse, only it had a horn on it’s forehead and much to it’s tail and mane were much too long.
Here,” replyed the Unicorn.
“Hmmmm…” thought Danny and then added aloud, “I’ve never seen a unicorn before. What’s your name?”
“Sky Dancer,” said the Unicorn.
“That’s a nice name,” said William who hadn’t been involved in the conversation for ages.
“Our names aren’t nearly as nice!” put in Danny.
“What are your names? You know mine and I would like to know yours please,” said Sky Dancer.
“Mine is William and this is Danny,” answered William, “Will and Dan for short.”
As time passed, Danny and William got to know the quite well. In fact, it soon seemed as if they had been in Eldnac since they were born!
Once they came back to our world (by accident in London) and found, that, however long they were in Eldnac for no time had gone passed in London (or the rest of the world too, for that matter).
'Book' 2: Eldnac
Once there was a little dog who lived in Eldnac.His name was Danny and he was a Dachshund.
As you know from the last book, his best friend was William the Great Dane.
By now they had been in Eldnac for a long time andhad made lots of friends.
This particular day they had arranged to go and explore the area above the waterfalls. They were to go with Glenstorm the Centaur, Mr. Tummunus the Faun, Trufflehunter the Badger and quite a number of others. They were to meet each other at the waterfalls.
“Come on William ,” pleaded Danny for the tenth time. “I’m coming, I’m coming,”replied William again for the tenth time.
At last they were off and travelling to the falls. They had to go around the Beaver’s pond, then to the big pond which the waterfall ran into. There, under the waterfall in the cavern were their friends.
Finally they were off exploring above the falls.
First they went through a forest. It was dense and green and there were lots of strange animals, that they had never seen before ( or in Danny’s and William’s case, thought they had never seen before).
Some of the animals included:
Scarlet Mawcaw
Panther
Monkey
Suddenly they were out of the jungle and on a sandy beach. There was a big oat on the beach. Danny climbed on board, followed by the others.
After about 2 hours of sailing, they spotted land. After about 10 minutes, landed on the beach of the land.
They had explored everything on the island except for the middle of the island. Suddenly Danny yelled out, “hey you guys, some and see what I’ve found!” “A meadow!” “It’s beautiful!” someone else yelled.
After that, when they were in Eldnac for a long time after that, they (the two dogs) were known as Danny the Discoverer and William the Adventurous.
THE END
PS If you realised that Eldnac is Candle spelled backwards, congratulations and fifty points for you ;) You can blame my Dad for that one :D
I wrote these in year 3, two of them in the ‘series’. Unfortunately I've lost the first 3 pages of the first. William & Danny are a pair of dogs from an illustrated book of short animal stories that was in the school library. No prizes for guessing what the inspiration for the plot is ;)
The exact spelling and idiosyncratic conventions regarding spacing, commas and the like are preserved. I apologise for that in advance ;)
'Book' 1: Danny and William
It had sort of looked like a horse, only it had a horn on it’s forehead and much to it’s tail and mane were much too long.
Here,” replyed the Unicorn.
“Hmmmm…” thought Danny and then added aloud, “I’ve never seen a unicorn before. What’s your name?”
“Sky Dancer,” said the Unicorn.
“That’s a nice name,” said William who hadn’t been involved in the conversation for ages.
“Our names aren’t nearly as nice!” put in Danny.
“What are your names? You know mine and I would like to know yours please,” said Sky Dancer.
“Mine is William and this is Danny,” answered William, “Will and Dan for short.”
As time passed, Danny and William got to know the quite well. In fact, it soon seemed as if they had been in Eldnac since they were born!
Once they came back to our world (by accident in London) and found, that, however long they were in Eldnac for no time had gone passed in London (or the rest of the world too, for that matter).
'Book' 2: Eldnac
Once there was a little dog who lived in Eldnac.His name was Danny and he was a Dachshund.
As you know from the last book, his best friend was William the Great Dane.
By now they had been in Eldnac for a long time andhad made lots of friends.
This particular day they had arranged to go and explore the area above the waterfalls. They were to go with Glenstorm the Centaur, Mr. Tummunus the Faun, Trufflehunter the Badger and quite a number of others. They were to meet each other at the waterfalls.
“Come on William ,” pleaded Danny for the tenth time. “I’m coming, I’m coming,”replied William again for the tenth time.
At last they were off and travelling to the falls. They had to go around the Beaver’s pond, then to the big pond which the waterfall ran into. There, under the waterfall in the cavern were their friends.
Finally they were off exploring above the falls.
First they went through a forest. It was dense and green and there were lots of strange animals, that they had never seen before ( or in Danny’s and William’s case, thought they had never seen before).
Some of the animals included:
Scarlet Mawcaw
Panther
Monkey
Suddenly they were out of the jungle and on a sandy beach. There was a big oat on the beach. Danny climbed on board, followed by the others.
After about 2 hours of sailing, they spotted land. After about 10 minutes, landed on the beach of the land.
They had explored everything on the island except for the middle of the island. Suddenly Danny yelled out, “hey you guys, some and see what I’ve found!” “A meadow!” “It’s beautiful!” someone else yelled.
After that, when they were in Eldnac for a long time after that, they (the two dogs) were known as Danny the Discoverer and William the Adventurous.
THE END
PS If you realised that Eldnac is Candle spelled backwards, congratulations and fifty points for you ;) You can blame my Dad for that one :D
29 May 2008
Things You Wish You Knew Before Being Infected With the Writing Bug
1) It's addictive.
2) Writers blues can hit you daily.
3) Said blues make you want to stop writing.
4) The blues never disappear
5) The blues can be beaten back with positive comments. And chocolate. And donuts. And icecream. And....[insert food item]
6) If you actually critted your own work, you'd never write again.
7) Two real voices will appear in your head. The first voice always says 'Stop writing! You CAN'T write. You POV hop, You don't write actively. You can't spell. You info dump. You [insert writing weakness here].
The second voice, sometimes drowns out the first. It may not be often, but its message is strong enough to keep you through the times when the first voice says you're useless. 'WRITEWRITEWRITEWRITE. You CAN write better than some of the trash out there. So WRITE!'
8) Once you put up something on CC, you'll want to tear it off the queue, delete it, and chuck the idea out of your head. Unfortuantely, the idea, like the second voice (known as the writing muse), never goes away. It won't until you write it down, revise it, review it, revise it again, and keep revising until you are semi-happy with it.
9) *deleted for the benefit of the Evil Author Code, which states that we should never let our fellow members' egos grow too large*
10) However much you moan, groan and feel like a failure, you keep writing. Because you can't stop.
~written by Yunaleska of Critique Circle
2) Writers blues can hit you daily.
3) Said blues make you want to stop writing.
4) The blues never disappear
5) The blues can be beaten back with positive comments. And chocolate. And donuts. And icecream. And....[insert food item]
6) If you actually critted your own work, you'd never write again.
7) Two real voices will appear in your head. The first voice always says 'Stop writing! You CAN'T write. You POV hop, You don't write actively. You can't spell. You info dump. You [insert writing weakness here].
The second voice, sometimes drowns out the first. It may not be often, but its message is strong enough to keep you through the times when the first voice says you're useless. 'WRITEWRITEWRITEWRITE. You CAN write better than some of the trash out there. So WRITE!'
8) Once you put up something on CC, you'll want to tear it off the queue, delete it, and chuck the idea out of your head. Unfortuantely, the idea, like the second voice (known as the writing muse), never goes away. It won't until you write it down, revise it, review it, revise it again, and keep revising until you are semi-happy with it.
9) *deleted for the benefit of the Evil Author Code, which states that we should never let our fellow members' egos grow too large*
10) However much you moan, groan and feel like a failure, you keep writing. Because you can't stop.
~written by Yunaleska of Critique Circle
06 April 2008
Some People Just Know How To Say It
And, being in the throes of a lab report myself, how could I fail to link to this exquisite description of the lab-report-writing process?
Get my lantern, get my gun, a fun entry from Spartezda's livejournal Iridescent Defenestration.
No. I'm not procrastinating. Not reeeally.... O:)
Get my lantern, get my gun, a fun entry from Spartezda's livejournal Iridescent Defenestration.
No. I'm not procrastinating. Not reeeally.... O:)
20 March 2008
Equally Large Boas
If this isn't the most awesome solution to world problems ever, I don't know what is.
I'm officially proclaiming myself a Supporter of the Equally Large Boa Solution.
I'm officially proclaiming myself a Supporter of the Equally Large Boa Solution.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
